Joanna Gardner

Salem Witches Class, Halfway Report

Joanna — Sat, 19 May 2012 01:07:34 +0000

I am seeing the Mystery at work everywhere I look in Salem Village. Well, call it what you like: Creation, Evolution, or as Dylan Thomas said, “The force that through the green fuse drives the flower.” It’s in the mania of the accusers. It’s in the accused, who stood their ground and took it on the chin and said, This is nuts! It’s in the judges and ministers who were so captivated by the imagery of black animal familiars, midnight feasts with a horned fertility god, and specters of women reported to materialize in men’s bedrooms.

In that place and at that moment, due to myriad socio-political conditions which I promise I won’t go into, that energy came together in all those players. It went kaboom, and then the world changed. Wow. In this place and at this moment–due to sleep deficiency perhaps, or eyeballs oozing blood from too much reading–the episode looks miraculous.

I Need a Spell for Speed-Reading

Joanna — Wed, 16 May 2012 03:38:34 +0000

The Salem Witches class meets every day this week and next, four hours per day, no absences allowed. On top of that, last night’s homework took eight hours. Tonight’s took seven and a half. Tomorrow promises more of the same, except I’m also supposed to show up at my two-hour Magical Realism class, and in theory, turn in a completely different assignment which I haven’t started typing yet. I could use a nice spectral scheduler to help fit this all in. That joke might be funny if you had been reading the stuff I have been. Or maybe not. But still, my central and essential point remains: yikes!

Shopping for the Salem Witch Trials Class

Joanna — Wed, 09 May 2012 01:17:41 +0000

I stopped by my cousin Erica’s store to pick up the required reading for class (let’s call it exhibit A), when I came upon this irresistible supplementary material (exhibit B). What a double feature! Erica sure knows how to stock a bookshelf. Or maybe she saw me coming and arranged the display accordingly.

Heartnut Tree Unfurling

Joanna — Sun, 06 May 2012 15:05:43 +0000

All Witches, All the Time

Joanna — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 23:29:11 +0000

Next month I am going back to college to take a history class. It normally lasts a semester, but this is summer session so the whole thing is crammed into two weeks of unspeakable barbarities: alarm clocks, a commute, daily quizzes. Ugh, right? Except the course is about the Salem witch trials! What was I supposed to do, not enroll?

I just hope my mental engines can cope. How long since there’s been cause to fire up the ol’ analytical reasoning? If I could remember math, I would count the years. Instead I will conserve horsepower for the steep hills ahead, such as reading what someone else tells me to read (about witches), constructing cohesive arguments (about witches), and formatting those tricky footnotes (all about witches!).

Studies Have Shown

Joanna — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 22:33:56 +0000

In Japan there is a custom called shinrin-yoku, a.k.a. a visit to the woods to feel better about everything, a.k.a. forest bathing. And all this time you thought you were hiking! Turns out you were taking a bath, right there for all the trees to see. Anyway scientists have weighed in on how forest bathing is good for body and soul. Glance through and you’ll realize you already knew all of this, and yet it’s still amazing:

Effect of forest bathing trips on human immune function — immune function was up, stress hormones were down.

The physiological effects of Shinrin-yoku (taking in the forest atmosphere or forest bathing) — cortisol, blood pressure, and heart rates were lowered.

Psychological effects of forest environments on healthy adults — hostility and depression decreased, liveliness increased; the higher the stress level, the greater the effect.

The effects of exercise in forest and urban environments on sympathetic nervous activity of normal young adults — less stress in the woods than in the city.

Shinrin-yoku (forest-air bathing and walking) effectively decreases blood glucose levels in diabetic patients — !!!

Ok, now imagine they were to do all this research again, except in forest gardens. There would be peace and tranquility and well-being, plus cherries! And blackberries! Oh wow. Has anyone devised ways of measuring that much bliss?

Mama Fox Had Puppies!

Joanna — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 14:11:41 +0000

Perennial-Palooza in Super-Slow-Mo

Joanna — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 00:43:17 +0000

This week I planted 53 food-producing perennials. I dug 53 holes and invited 53 dormant root systems to wake up and make a new life for themselves right here in my back yard. After that I stood up and massaged my lower back and saw that the garden looked… exactly the same.

As it still does. The asparagus and rhubarb are buried hunks of earthen gnarl, and the nut trees and berry shrubs are skinny bare sticks in the ground. I worked my butt off and there’s not a blessed thing to show for it. Where’s the lush canopy I’ve been dreaming of? The herbaceous understory? Far off in the future. Forest gardening is a delayed-gratification sport, and it’s time once again to think about other things for many months. Things such as corn and beans and squash. Speed-demon annuals will have to entertain me while the perennials take their sweet time getting established.

Can’t Help But Post a Baby Photo

Joanna — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 00:53:47 +0000

Look, Ma, No Tilling!

Joanna — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 02:17:41 +0000

Remember how last summer I sheet-mulched the lawn to turn it into garden soil? Well check out this gorgeous dirt! It’s crumbly and moist and eager to feed lots of new roots. The recipe was cardboard, compost, straw and leaves, layered nice and neat. Earthworms took over from there. My only job was to think about other things for seven short months. Now I can hardly think about anything else.